Why undermining authority figures is good for your children…

As a general approach to life, I tend to be quite happy holding an opinion counter to the crowd. Sometimes it will be something trivial and just a little quirky. At other times, it’ll be something fundamentally against the grain, which might get eyebrows raised and the spittle flying. Always though, it will be because I have taken the time to think about it.

An example of this is the way I look to protect my children. Many of the other parents I have spoken to are horrified to hear that when I was teaching my children about avoiding being a victim of abuse, I wasn’t coaching them to be wary of strangers, but instead I was warning them about family friends, teachers and relatives.

The other parents seemed to feel that I was undermining those in a position of authority, or in some way damaging my children’s idyllic childhood. And whilst I’ll happily admit to the former, I’ll strongly disagree with the latter. Because the statistics for abuse are crystal clear. The people that convention would have us believe are shining beacons of trust, simply aren’t. In fact, it is much worse than that. Those that our children are often taught to confide in, are actually their biggest threat. Over 90% of the perpetrators of child abuse will be someone the victim knows well [1].

So instead of following convention, I have done everything I can to instil in my children good judgement and self-trust. To be aware of the behavioural patterns in those around them, and to trust their instincts when they notice that they deviate unexpectedly.

That said, a little Jujitsu also goes a long way too. ;)

1. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/child-sexual-abuse/sexual-abuse-facts-statistics/